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Thursday, 1 June 2017

6 Creepy and Crazy Gaming Easter Eggs

June 01, 2017 0
For almost as long as games have been made, developers would slip in hidden bits and pieces of code, areas and surprises. And, for just as long, players have spent hours trying to find these “Easter Eggs”. More often than not, they’re fun or brilliant, or offering something that’s as exciting as it is unexpected. Then there are those other times… times when the Easter eggs are almost impossible to find, bone chillingly creepy or, worst of all, more disappointing than Duke Nukem Forever. Here are:

6 Creepy and Crazy Gaming Easter Eggs



1. 13 Years and The One Ring; Final Fantasy IX

The Final Fantasy game franchise has come a long way, and boasts a massive fan base – a fan base that has come to expect Easter eggs and surprises in every game. Considering how many side-quests the games tend to have, it’s only logical that not all of the Easter eggs would be easy to find. But when it came to FFIX it took a grand total of 13 years for the very last one to be discovered.

So how do you find this Easter egg? Well, one of the side-quests that you get in the game involved talking to one of the Nero Brothers – apparently a sibling is missing. All too eager to help, you go out and beat the boss… but instead of going on with your life and your oodles of other quests, you’ve got to walk back and talk to them again. This time another sibling is missing. Back to the boss! Then back to the siblingss, back to the boss, back to- Well, you get the idea. After a ridiculous amount of rinse and repeat, all the siblings are finally safe and back home – and you can, finally, go inside and loot the house.

For all that effort, you’d expect something pretty fantastic, right? Maybe some kind of legendary weapon? If only. No, your reward for this extensive rescue mission is a ring. A tiny, insignificant little piffling Protect Ring. So is it worth it? Unless you’re determined as all bloody hell to complete every damn quest in the game, this trek through the annals of disappointment is one to skip.


2. Feel Honoured by My Name; Donkey Kong, Atari 400

Look, we get it. You’re a developer, and you spent five months pouring your heart and soul into the conversion of a game from one platform to another. You feel entitled to some kind of recognition. So, naturally, you stick your initials into the game – hidden, of course, until somebody finds a way to unlock them. And eventually somebody did… 26 years later.

Why did it take so long? Landon M. Dyer – the developer – buried the code to unlock the egg so deep that the only reason someone went looking for it was because Dyer mentioned its existence. So why didn’t he just tell someone how to get to it sooner? After all, why stick the code in there if you don’t want it to be discovered in the first place? As it turns out, even he forgot how to unlock it.

But the world is full of people who have too much time on their hands, and one of these people finally decided to just go through the code and figure it out. Step 1 – achieve a ridiculously specific high score. Step 2 – Lose all your lives but one. Step 3 – Commit suicide by fall with your last life. Step 4 – Reset the system to level 4 difficulty. Reward - Go to Main Screen and look at three tiny letters at the bottom.

Congratulations – most disappointing reward ever.


3. Is That…Luigi?; Luigi’s Mansion

When it comes to anything Mario related, the general expectation is for something light-hearted and funny. And why wouldn’t you expect that from their Easter eggs? For years, Super Mario has been about silly fun – or frustrated rants, if you’ve ever played any Ross levels on Super Mario Maker. Occasionally the Mario-verse does wander into the more sinister, but never has ‘creepy as hell’ been something you’d associated with the jumping Italian Brothers.

And then there’s Luigi’s Mansion. The game has its flaws, sure, but there’s no denying that it’s another Mario franchise classic. Unlike most of the games, though, Luigi’s Mansion has a definite darker edge – and nowhere is that seen more clearly than a rather creepy Easter egg hidden in the loft. There are a lot of people who ascribe the chilling scene to a glitch, but Nintendo themselves have never confirmed or denied the true nature of that shadow.

When the power blacks out, go answer the ringing phone on the third floor - the one in the middle - and wait. Soon enough the lightning strike, and that strike will wreck your childhood as it casts a shadow on the wall. A shadow that eerily resembles Luigi, hung from the rafters.

Well, there goes whatever childhood innocence I had left.


4. I Am the Master Mind; Silent Hill 2

As far as terrifying games go, Silent Hill needs no introduction. Over the years this franchise has given us some of the most horrific experiences and disturbing imagery. The best advice I was ever given about this series was to avoid playing it in the dark. I didn’t listen, but that’s a story for a different time. The point here is that the Silent Hill games are about as creepy and twisted as it gets to begin with – but somehow the secret ending of Silent Hill 2 just makes the whole thing worse.

To unlock the ending, you need to play the game at least twice. Somewhere during your second run you might just manage to get your hands on a bone-shaped key. A weird thing to find, but alright. That bone-key opens a secret room, and inside you find the mastermind, the monster behind all the horror that you’ve been experiencing…

… a dog sitting in front of a control panel. Coincidence? Nope. The game itself quite bluntly says that the fluffy little bugger is responsible for all the trauma the protagonist has experienced. It also claims that everything now makes sense, so...

Naturally the protagonist falls to his knees at the revelation that a dog is responsible for his nightmare. Said dog trots right over to hand out sympathetic licks – which is completely unfair, by the way. How are we supposed to stay angry at an affectionate pup?!


5. Message from A Killer; California Speed

As mentioned before, Easter eggs are supposed to be exciting or, at least, just a little bit of fun. But if they can be neither, well, then they might as well be the kind of Easter egg that has no place being there except to freak you the hell out. Enter California Speed, an old school racing game. The game has no story, no plot, nada. The only point of the game is to drive your car as fast as you can and hope to cross the finish line first. That’s it. The end. Basically, not the kind of game you’d expect any kind of Easter egg from to begin with.

And yet…

While you’re driving in circles like a maniac, you might get random glimpses of sign boards all along the road. Most of them don’t mean much – they’re just there to add a little something to the game. With the… crap graphics of the time, there’s not much to expect from these signs. Not really. But if you look closely, you might spot one that’s not like the others. That particular sign has a rather disturbing message for our racers:

“Sometimes... God takes mommies and puppies away... And sometimes... Just sometimes... I do.”

Well, shit.


6. Singing in Obscurity; Portal 2

This is, by far, my favourite Easter egg. Portal 2 is a lot of fun to play, whether in single player or in co-op mode. The puzzles are challenging and entertaining, but it’s the different machines in the game, and their personalities, that add a little something extra to it. Especially the little turrets… They’re not your friends. They’re not supposed to be your friends. And yet they’re adorable (if your little heart didn’t break at the first poor cries of “I’m on fire!”, you’re a monster).

Portal 2 also comes filled with fun Easter eggs. For example – and beware spoilers here if you didn’t know this already – those adorable little turrets? They were made to protect baby cribs. That’s right – they’re tiny, red-eyed babysitters.

Now if you like exploring things thoroughly you might just discover four little turrets standing together. Not too unexpected… until the four of them break out into a melancholy little song. The song, as it turns out, is called "The Turret Wife Serenade". But who are they serenading? Why? How is it that these four lonely turrets (and the one fat turret opposite them) came to be here, singing all by their lonesome selves?Honestly, we don’t know – but that hasn’t stopped the fan community coming up with their own reasons and theories. A particularly heart-wrenching theory is presented by a fan called RedSquidz:

“They'd experienced a rather unusual suffering. Not a suffering from lasers. Not a suffering from being knocked over, or a suffering from being smashed away with weighted cubes. No, they suffered from something unconventional. They suffered from silence. From days, months, perhaps years of inactivity; water slowly eroding the testing chambers around them; iron rotting away from oxidation; power cells slowly corroding and depleting. There was nothing there to keep them stimulated - nothing to shoot at, nothing to trigger them into activation. And so, with their lights beginning to dim, they cried out. They sang, sang against the heavy quiet, sang out to find fulfillment and purpose and meaning, sang to fill the empty world around them - to keep their very souls alive and from slipping into the silence themselves.”

If that lonely Easter egg scene wasn’t sad before, you can bet your arse that it is now. You’re welcome.




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Wednesday, 31 May 2017

6 Countries You Probably Didn’t Know Existed

May 31, 2017 1
Most people in large nations have taken the freedom that comes with independence for granted, and it’s often easy to overlook those small nations who are still fighting to enjoy those same freedoms and rights. For some it is a peaceful road, for others it’s a bloody war and, for those few who have achieved it, the road to stability can be just as hard. But the challenges don’t stop these countries from trying, nor does the fact that they are often overlooked deter them. From countries still fighting for recognition, to those few who have only recently received their independence, here are:

6 Countries You Probably Didn’t Know Existed



1. Kingdom of Barotseland

Barotseland lies mostly within Zambia, crossing borders slightly into Angola and Namibia. In its attempts to be acknowledged as an independent nation, Barotseland has experienced more ‘hot-potato’ treatment than most and, considering the challenges they have faced, their determination has to be admired.

While Britain controlled most of southern Africa, Barotseland was under colonial administration and, as such, enjoyed relative autonomy even as a colony. At the time it was able to maintain its traditional authority as a monarchy. In 1889 a treaty was signed that gave the kingdom international recognition as a state and trade with Europe was established as the region was rich with diamonds.

Unfortunately, another treaty was written up in 1890 – which was were the trouble for Barotseland truly began. The concessions in the treaty was, as claimed by King Lewanika of the time, misinterpreted and instead of being a separate state, Barotseland was made part of the then Northern Rhodesia. This was partially rectified in 1964 when the ‘Barotseland Agreement 1964’ was signed; it gave Barotseland the same status that it had previously under British Government. The agreement barely lasted six months.

A new president came to power of the newly independent Zambia in October of 1964, and President Kaunda immediately began introducing acts that resulted in the total abolishment of the agreement in 1965, making Barotseland an ‘official’ part of Zambia. This was ratified by the Zambian parliament in 1969, and ongoing calls by the locals of Barotseland (renamed ‘Western Province’ under Zambian control) to have their autonomy restored has been ignored.

In 2013 Barotseland became a member of UNPO, and they are theoretically independent from Zambia – in the most blatant sense, Zambia has pretty much washed its hands of Barotseland, while Britain also refrains from getting involved. Despite this, Zambia still enjoys the benefits of having Barotseland as part of their state, basically amounting to an act of Illegal Occupation. Currently an investigation by the African Commission of Human and Peoples Rights is underway regarding claims of human rights violations by the Zambian Government in Barotseland.

While Barotseland awaits its independence, dissatisfaction in the region continues to grow, culminating public protests and demonstrations. Several of these have resulted in deaths, and the imprisonment of various political individuals of Barotseland – including former Prime Minister Maxwell Mututwa, who was jailed at the age of 92. Hon. Afumba Mombotwa, Hon. Kalima Inambao, Hon. Pelekelo Kalima and Hon. Paul Masiye, four members of the provisional government, were imprisoned in 2013 and have been detained in maximum incarceration until the Kabwe High court – a Zambian court, mind you – decide their fate.

2. Autonomous Republic of Abkhazia

On the eastern shore of the Black Sea lies the Republic of Abkhazia – a small country that has been battling for its independence from Georgia for well over two decades. The ethnic Abkhazian population never considered themselves part of the Georgian sovereignty and, in 1992 – 1993, a bloody war was fought to separate themselves from Georgia – a war which they had won. With their victory, the small nation formed their own de facto government, with Raul Khajimba currently serving as president.

Several more wars were fought against Georgian forces, often in conjunction with the Russian Military. This resulted in the Parliament of Georgia declaring Abkhazia a Russian-occupied territory in 2008 – unfortunately for Abkhazia, this status is recognized by most of the international community.

Abkhazia remains determined to be officially recognized as an independent republic, and in that regard they have made some headway. They are officially recognized by eight countries, including four that belong to the United Nations – Russia, Nicaragua, Venezuela and Nauru.

Things are still far from stable in the region, but the people of Abkhazia remain determined to be fully recognized by the world. To that end, Abkhazia has become a fully recognized member of the Unrepresented Nations and Peoples Organization (UNPO). Several former members of UNPO have won full recognition of their independence, such as Armenia, Estonia, Palau and… Georgia itself.

3. Tuvalu

Tuvalu is an island nation, with some of the most experienced fishermen and mariners in the world – in fact, marine cadets often attend the Tuvalu Maritime Training Institute before finding employment on ships and a specialized trade union represents the copious amount of sought after Tuvalu employees serving on foreign ships. This, along with the sales of fishing licenses, constitutes a large portion of the island’s income. Their most interesting income, however, comes from leasing out their highly sought after domain name – “.tv”.

Tuvalu’s transitions into independence was one of the most peaceful. Until 1978, Tuvalu was part of the Gilbert and Ellice Island colonies, administered by a British Commissioner. However, after WWII and the formation of the United Nations, a committee was established to promote decolonization. It was the first step that Tuvalu, and several other colonies, would take towards independence.

As a result of the committee’s initiative, a ministerial government was introduced to the island colonies, and for the first time a general election was held in 1974. That same year a referendum was held to determine if the islands could, and should, be administered by themselves rather than by British representatives. Consequentially, the Tuvaluan Order was established in 1975, and although it was still seen as a British dependency, it had its own government.

The resident House of Assembly was finally dissolved in 1978 and in October of that year, Tuvalu was first recognized as an independent nation. They continued to push forward, first becoming fully independent as a democratic Commonwealth nation and then, in September of 2000, Tuvalu was recognized by the United Nations as their 189th Member.


4. Union of the Comoros

Between the shores of Mozambique and Madagascar, you will find a small archipelago – this is the Sovereign Island Nation of Comoros. Having been at the crossroads of many civilizations, Comoros is one of the most diverse and colourful nations in terms of culture and history. The island has some of the most beautiful beaches and clear waters… but don’t pack your bags just yet.

It was part of the French Colonial Empire before it declared its independence. Unfortunately, becoming president of Comoros does make one quite the target – since becoming independent, Comoros has undergone over 20 coup d’état or attempts at coups, and several heads of state have been straight out assassinated. The current president is ex-pharmacist Dhoinine.

Sadly, combined with its political instability, Comoros has the worst income equality in the world, and more than half of its inhabitants live under the international poverty line. The government is struggling to improve education levels, but most of the inhabitants are either unemployed or work in agriculture. It is the largest producer of ylang-ylang and vanilla in the world, despite the limited land space. But, with population growth at a high, and living space low, it’s difficult to determine how much longer Comoros will be able to sustain itself.

5. Pridnestrovian Moldavian Republic (Transnistria)

Transnistria is a small nation that lies right between Moldovia and Ukraine, and is as yet not recognized as an independent state by any member of the United Nations, although Russia is lending them extensive support in their goal. Despite this, they have been functioning as an independent nation since 1992, when a war was fought between Moldova – who lays claim on Transnistria – and the local forces. It ended in a negotiated ceasefire which has, as of this article, remained intact. But that’s about as much as can be said for it.

They have their own form of government with general elections held every five years, as well as anything else you might expect – a flag, anthem, currency... but these things not a nation make. The only countries that recognize Transnistria as a nation are other partially recognized states such as Abkhazia, South Ossetia and Nagorno-Karabakh.

Regardless of appearances, there have been many claims that the free rights of the people are being denied – there is much conflict about the fairness of the election process, for one, and according to the CBN, religions such as Jehovah’s Witnesses and Protestants are being persecuted despite claims of ‘freedom of religion’.

Moreover, the media – and public - in Transnistria has recently found themselves gagged due to a law passed in 2016 dictating that any actions or public statements that express disrespect for the peace-keeping Russian army in the country will be punished by up to 7 years in prison. Thankfully this writer is not a resident of Tansnistria.

6. Somaliland

Nope, this is not a mistake. No doubt you’ve heard of Somalia, but very few people have actually heard of Somaliland. This small country lies on the southern coast of the Gulf of Aden, and is bordered by Somalia, Djibouti and Ethiopia. It was part of the British Protectorate until 1960, when it was united with what is currently Somalia, and a local government was formed. It lasted only nine years. The Somalian Military seized power, and General Mohamed Siad Barre took command, ruling Somalia for 21 years.

The Somali people quickly became disillusioned with life under military rule, and by the 1980’s many resistance movements had been formed around the country. One of these was the Somali National Movement, based in the centre of Hargeisa. Although it began as a unionist constitution, it soon began to pursue separation from the rest of Somalia – a decision that culminated in the north-western Somali territories declaring themselves independent at a conference in 1991. Abdirahman Ahmed Ali Tuur became the newly formed Somaliland’s first president. He proceeded to pull a 180, and sought reunification with Somalia.

By 1993, Tuur was replaced by Muhammad Haji Ibrahim Egal, who was re-appointed in 1997. He remained Somaliland’s president until his death in 2002. Dahir Riyale Kahin was his successor – the first elected president of Somaliland.

As yet, Somaliland is not an officially recognized independent state, despite the fact that it has been functioning as one for well over two decades. It is part of UNPO, and has built strong international relations with Ethiopia, Djibouti, South Africa, Sweden and the United Kingdom. Both the EU and the AU have visited Somaliland to discuss future recognition of Somaliland, and their application to join the Commonwealth is currently pending.



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Tuesday, 30 May 2017

6 of the Greatest Superpowerless Superheroes

May 30, 2017 0
We know Superman – faster than a speeding bullet, nigh indestructible – and radioactive spider-ly empowered Spiderman. We know Thor, and Hulk, The Fantastic Four, all of the mutants from X-men… To say there are a lot of powerful superheroes is an understatement, and we love (almost) all of them. But, surrounded with all these amazing abilities, it’s often hard to forget that some of the greatest ‘superheroes’ are just ordinary people who have some pretty awesome skills or weapons. Here are:

6 of the Greatest Superpowerless Superheroes



1. Tony Stark, Iron Man; Marvel

Come now, let’s be honest. He’s Tony Stark, Iron Man. He needs no introduction, save to say that he is a “genius. billionaire, playboy, philanthropist”, and only because that’s his own words – although we suspect ‘superhero’ can now be tacked on to that. He is an ingenious engineer, who entered MIT at the age of 15 and boasts master’s degrees in electric engineering and physics. He’s the perfect combination between the sexy cool guy and the basement nerd. In the comics he also pulls a bit of a ‘Bruce Wayne’ and no one suspects the playboy to also be the powerful Iron Man – although I’m sure many would agree that the cocky Marvelverse version suits him much better. That being said… read the comics. The stories are insanely brilliant.

But despite his ingenuity, and an awesome flying suit that can apparently withstand a beating from Thor himself, Tony Stark is still very much a regular human being. He may have electronics just about everywhere, but that doesn’t change facts: Iron Man is an awesomely vain bastard in an overpowered suit of armour.

And we love him for it.


2. Bruce Wayne, Batman; DC

You can’t talk about the one playboy and not talk about the other (although, in our personal opinion, Tony pulls it off with a fair bit more style). He, too, is described as the billionaire, playboy and philanthropist, although what he lacks in genius – that’s what he’s got employees for – he makes up for more than enough with his fighting skills. Batman is also one of the greatest contradictions in comics – he serves almost as a force of anarchy in his vigilantism, but despite often being depicted as one of the darkest and most brutal heroes he has such a stringent moral code that he never takes a life.

He might have lots of awesome gadgets (and what fan hasn’t wished for their own batarang?) but aside from his armour, nothing really gives Batman a leg up against his enemies in one on one combat.

That is all Bruce.


3. Hal Jordan, The Green Lantern; DC

Okay, so Green Lantern has some of the best powers ever. He’s almost invulnerable, he can fly, and manipulate the energy of his own willpower to create just about anything he wants – from comically large hammers to… well, anything he wants or needs at pretty much any point. What makes Hal such a great Lantern is the fact that, as a person, he has exceptional willpower. In fact, seeing Hal as the Lantern it’s easy to forget something very important: he’s just a man.

Although his willpower makes him a great Lantern, it’s the Power Ring that makes it possible to save the Earth in his creatively cocky way.


4. Hank Pym and Scott Lang, Ant-man; Marvel

When it comes to the awesomeness of Ant-Man, you have to talk about Hank Pym before you can talk about others who took up the mantle later. Hank was a Biophysicist before he was anything else, and then he created the suit to become an epic mystery solving superhero, later on joined by his girlfriend Janet, who became the Wasp. From lab coat wearing genius to founding member of the Avengers – you’ve got to give the man kudos.

Scott Lang took up the mantle later, after Hank decided to explore alternate identities such as Giant-Man, Goliath, Yellowjacket and Wasp. He started out as an engineer, although he became a burglar when it just wasn’t exciting enough anymore. Yeah, he was caught, but he was such a brilliant engineer that Stark International hired him to install the new security system in the Avengers Mansion (now wouldn’t it have been fun if that was in the movies?). Originally Scott stole the suit knowing full well what it was, and doing so to save his daughter’s life with the full intention of turning himself in to Hank – but the good Doc made him Ant-Man full time instead.

Like the others, Ant-Man’s ‘superpower’ of growing and shrinking, and talking with ants, all stem from the use of a brilliantly engineered suit. It’s his ability to think creatively on his feet, though, that makes Scott worthy of this list.


5. Walter Kovacs, Rorschach; DC

Walter Kovacs, a.k.a. Rorschach, is one of my personal favourites. Walter isn’t the type of guy you’d even give a second look; in fact, he’s described as quite ugly, looking like a homeless guy who always carries a “THE END IS NIGH” sign. Nothing about the average height, scraggly man would even hint at him being a crime fighting vigilante. Even Walter considers himself ugly, and thinks of his mask as his ‘true’ face. Many even consider him mentally ill – and with a past like his, that’s not hard to believe.

What makes Rorscach both brilliant and feared is that is moral code is absolute. As far as he is concerned it’s black and white, and no grey space in between. His own unwillingness to compromise leads to his death when he orders Dr. Manhattan to kill him, as he refuses to be part of Veidt’s (Ozymandias) conspiracy.

But what makes him a highly effective superhero is that he has a near unbreakable will, even in the face of overwhelming odds, peak physical strength (for a human), an almost unnatural sense of timing and precision and exceptionally resourceful – he’s shown as being capable of turning just about any every day item into a very effective weapon. He’s a gymnast, a boxer and a pretty good brawler on top. He’s even described as “tactically brilliant and unpredictable”. Hell, the only real gadget he has is a gas powered grappling gun – he’s not nearly as dependent on suits and weapons like the others on this list.

He is, undeniably, super by simply being the most badass human crime fighter he can be.


6. MCU Natalia Romanova/Natasha Romanoff, Black Widow; Marvel

If we were going strictly by the Marvel Cinematic Universe, Black Widow would be deserving of a bona fide position on this list. Trained in a Soviet Red Room to be a highly effective assassin, Black Widow is adept at nearly every type of martial arts, and one heck of a marksman. She’s got the skills, she’s got the tools – and, as we can see in the movies, she’s got a creative streak that trumps all of the gents combined. Who else would attempt to talk the Hulk down without so much as a single piece of supersuit between her and those big green fists? Without a doubt, MCU Natasha deserves a spot here…

Unfortunately, the original Black Widow is a lot more like the Cap than you’d think. Black Widow – or Natalia Romanova – was born in 1928 and given a serum that was very similar to Captain America’s. She also doesn’t age, and has the same super-human strength and agility. She was trained by Bucky (yes, Winter Soldier Bucky), and she was the one who brainwashed Hawkeye to help her kill Iron Man – before becoming one of the good guys, of course.

Let’s be honest, though – Black Widow is a great superheroin, no matter how you look at it.




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Monday, 29 May 2017

#MondayMotivation: Don't Sweat the Small Things

May 29, 2017 0
Greetings, dear Readers!

Today’s message came out of the left field, and took me a little by surprise. Usually, I spend a couple of days trying to find a message that I want to share with others. This week, I was too busy obsessing over a good motivational and/or funny video to upload to my Youtube Channel. Much like my #MondayMotivation posts here, I wanted it to have a good message for a Monday, and one that would motivate those who watched it.

I didn’t make up my mind about what to record my vlog about until halfway through Sunday night – yes, it was as late as it sounds. By the time I was done recording it, though, I realised that it had also given me something to write about today – and so I’m going to share both the video and the message with you:

Don't Sweat the Small Things


When it comes to Mondays, we have this habit of taking everything out of proportion - and I understand why. It’s the first day back at work or school, it’s the day that ruined your Sunday, it’s the first day back into the stressful every day grind… Basically, Monday is that day with the bad reputation that everyone wants to avoid, but can never get away from.

Because of that, we’ve made Mondays extremely negative. Everything becomes a big issue, or a sign that it’s going to be a bad week. Even the smallest things get blown up into massive problems, and suddenly the very negativity we expect to find on the day become a reality.

In my vlog, I decided to read a few FML’s – “Fuck My Life’s”. These are humorous little snippets of bad events that people from around the world share and, when I’d had a day job, those had been my Monday Go-To’s. There was nothing like reading about people who clearly had it worse than I. Here’s the important thing, though:

They had it worse, but they could laugh about it.

That’s our biggest problem. Instead of laughing about those small things, we end up blowing them into these massive problems instead. We forget that, on any other day, we’d be able to just blow them off and move on. But if someone can laugh about having a dead woman sleeping on him for thirty minutes, or getting their transportation stolen… why can’t I laugh about accidentally spilling coffee on my shirt?

We need to learn to laugh at ourselves more. We need to relearn how to just let the small things be small things – and, at some point, you might find that even the bigger problems might not seem so big anymore. Maybe it’d be because you have more positivity, or because you’re not obsessing over things you can’t change, or that aren’t really that big of a problem.

The challenge for this week:

It’s simple – don’t sweat the small things. Don’t let the phone cutting out ruin your week – just redial. Just change your shirt. Make a new cup of coffee. Enjoy the music as you hit traffic. Laugh about your search for those damned keys. There are worse things that can happen – so save your energy for those, and let the rest go. Life has enough bricks that it’s going to try tossing into your travel bag – don’t add in more yourself.

I have faith in you! And now, I will laugh all the way to the publish button, even though I overslept and this article is four hours late…


Until Next Week!

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Friday, 26 May 2017

6 More Retro Games That Are Still Fun and Worth Playing

May 26, 2017 0
A couple of weeks ago we talked about Six Retro Games that we would still sit down and play for hours. But, like several gamers pointed out – and quite correctly so – that there are way more than just six of these older games still out in the world. A few even went so far as to suggest a couple of additions, and we have enough games on our lists now to keep us busy for months! Thanks to everyone for their suggestions – and remember to leave a few suggestions of your own. I can’t do all the work around here. Now, without further ado, here are:


6 More Retro Games That Are Still Fun and Worth Playing



1. Dune Series, Westwood & Various (1992 – 2001)

Yes, I went there, and right on the very first game on this list, too – and with good reason. Dune, Dune II, Dune 2000 and Emperor: Battle for Dune all belong on this list. Each one has something that makes them different from the others, and the little unique elements and common that still make them fun to play, without losing the amazing story.

It was the game that originally got me into RTS games, and one which I lost a lot of my youth too – with no regrets whatsoever.

While the first Dune almost has a little bit of an RPG feel to it, Dune II and all the sequels are strictly real time strategy and resource management. As the series continued to grow, the stories became more elaborate, and short cut scenes turned into full-fledged filmed sequences. The controls have also improved over the years, but without losing the things that really make Dune, Dune.

There is no denying that these games are still fun to play – if you fancy yourself a real-time strategy player, and you haven’t played any of the Dune games yet… you’ve got a serious problem. Go. Now. Before I glue you to a screen with nothing but Dune to play


2. Diablo 1 & 2, Blizzard (1996, 2000)

I have a confession to make… I was always hooked on PC games, ever since I received my first copy of Dune – but, for some reason, I just never could get into RPG games. Because of that, it was a long time before I actually started playing the Diablo games. Once I did, though, it was very easy to see why people loved them so much, and why Blizzard is still releasing patches for these older games.

Most people are driven back to older games because the newer versions just don’t live up expectations. Diablo 3 almost fell into this trap, but thankfully Reaper of Souls was released, and fixed a lot of the problems. So… what keeps making people go back to the older Diablo games, then?

They’re fun. They’re dark and grungy and have enough loot to keep you going forever. It’s a hack and slash RPG that defines the genre. Better yet, it actually has a storyline – something that a lot of hack n’ slash RPG’s and dungeon crawlers just skip right over. The quality of the games still hold true – so yes, it’s perfectly alright to take the occasional break from DIII, and head back to the older, classic versions. It’s a decision you just can’t regret.


3. Tetris, Spectrum Holobyte (1984)

It is undeniable; you just need to hear the first few notes of the theme song, and you’ll immediately be whisked away into fond memories of hours lost to a never-ending wave of falling shapes. Match up those tiles and clear the screen, because when they reach the top, you’re through. That is Tetris, and for a game that’s so simple, it is absolutely timeless.

There have been so many different reiterations of Tetris over the years that it’s hard to believe it all started in 1984 in Russia – that’s over three decades ago, just in case you were wondering. Yet, even with how old it is, we still know the tunes, and we still spend hours trying to match up blocks with no clear end goal. And there isn’t one, either – it’s just clearing matches upon clearing matches as the falling blocks come faster and faster.

By the way, did you know that psychologists at Plymouth University did a study that said playing Tetris reduces food cravings? You can just see the advertisements now: “See the secret that makes diet companies hate him!”. Hours of fun, and healthy. A winning combination if there ever was one, and one we just can’t help but keep coming back too.


4. Sid Meier’s Alpha Centauri, Electronic Arts (1999)

When it comes to turn-based games, the Civilization games pretty much set the standard, and they’ve been doing it for years. There are few things quite as easy as losing yourself to the little turning hourglass as you attempt global domination – whether peacefully and via diplomacy, or blowing the crap out of anything that moves. And, in the end, there was just one way to make Sid Meier’s Civilization series better – taking it to space.

You know you’ve got an unbeatable classic on your hands when the ‘new and improved’ spiritual predecessor falls flat on its face – and that’s exactly what Civilization: Beyond Earth did. It’s no wonder that millions of fans dropped the game to head right back to Alpha Centauri – which is, some would argue, the greatest turn based game ever made.

With enemies, alien life forms, good mechanics, and what is actually a really good story, Alpha Centauri is probably not going anywhere. It offers great quality for a game it’s age, and one that most turn-based fans will keep going back too – no matter how many times they try to create better ‘spiritual successors’.


5. StarCraft, Blizzard (1998)

Up until 2010 and the release of StarCraft II, it would have been pointless to tell anyone to go back and play StarCraft – they were still playing it anyway. As an avid strategy gamer, StarCraft was always one of my personal favourite games and one I would frequently go back to playing. I wouldn’t be the only person either; it’s a game that’s just so good and so much fun, you can’t help but go back to it.

The StarCraft stories were fun to play, and the single player campaigns held a whole new world of challenges. After playing through them the first time, it was just as entertaining to go back and see if you couldn’t find another, more creative solution to the problems they presented. Some people might even say that SCI is more challenging than SCII, and a game in which saving frequently wasn’t optional, it was a must.

Even with StarCraft II out in the world, the original and its expansion is still worth the play – especially if you’re new to the series and want to catch up on the story. In fact, for a lot of players – and me personally – the story was one of the things that made this game such an excellent and addictive favourite. And with a fan community as dedicated as it has, I’m pretty confident when I say that it will be a long time before this game falls off the radar – especially with the prospect of an upcoming overhauled version!


6. Populous 1 & 2, Bullfrog & Electronic Arts (1989, 1991)

Personally, I got on the Populous train a little late. Thankfully, the retro-train has a habit of making frequent stops and never quite running out of steam. After discovering the latest version of Populous, I went back to look at the original games – and it was clear why people still love them.

The Populous games are some of the best god-games available to play – that might either say a lot about the games, or about the current state of the god-game market. You decide. Whichever point of view you take, it has to be said that both Populous 1 & 2 are as addicting now as they were upon their initial release.

For the time, the games were both fun and challenging – and they still are, for that matter. There’s nothing quite like the rush of power you feel when you obliterate an entire civilization. In your name, of course.

If you don’t mind dealing with the graphics of the time, then Populous – and especially Populous 2 – are very high on the recommendation list. Go forth and impress your will on the people. Trust me, they’ll worship you for it.



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Thursday, 25 May 2017

Vlog: South African Accents Are A Lie!

May 25, 2017 0
Greetings, dear Readers!

People seem convinced that all South Africans have the same accent. They keep arguing with me about mine! I'm a SAFA girl, buddy - get it through your head.


South African Accents Are A Lie!





I've had honest to gods full fledged arguments with people on this topic - but as a country with over 11 official languages and more dialects than bloody Scotland, there isn't really any 'South African' accent anymore. We just speak in our own unique-ish ways - and that's pretty much the end of it. But, just for the hell of it, hear me make some fun of it all.

If you would like me to chat to you about anything - questions or topics - please suggest them!


Until Next Time!

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6 Weird and Terrifying Illnesses That Are Still a Mystery

May 25, 2017 0
The world is filled with mysteries… but when you visit the local doctor’s office, you really don’t want to hear “I’ve never seen this before,” or any variation thereof. There’s nothing as terrifying as hearing that whatever you’ve got making you sick is something the professionals can’t explain or cure. And when it’s a really strange illness… well, that certainly doesn’t help the situation one bit. Here are:

6 Weird and Terrifying Illnesses That Are Still a Mystery



1. The Dancing Plague

In 1518, in a lovely little town called Strasbourg, a woman named Mrs. Troffea decided it was a good day to dance. Over time she was joined by more and more people; 34 people joined her within the week, and a month later a crowd of over 400 people was participating in the "merriment".

No one is sure how it started, or why Mrs. Troffea took the streets to do her little jig. But the dancers wouldn’t stop; many of them danced themselves to death. One of the surviving documents claimed that the "dancing plague" killed around fifteen people per day; not surprisingly, mainly from strokes, exhaustion and heart attacks.

Doctors and priests became more and more concerned; they claimed everything from astrological causes to “hot blood”. The nobles finally decided that the only way to cure the dancers from their illness was to help them along – stages and bands were set up so that the dancers could continue dancing, night and day. In fact, the nobles went so far as to pay the musicians to keep the people dancing to their deaths.

A lot of theories have been developed as to what might have caused the “Dancing Plague”, with explanations ranging from stress-induced psychosis, to a very persistent foot fungus – but no one knows for sure what caused the sporadic medieval outbreaks.

You’ve got to give it to those old timers though – according to one historian, not even modern marathon runners would have been able to keep up with this medieval fatal foxtrot.

2. Brainerd Diarrhea

First recorded in 1983, Brainerd Diarrhea was named for Brainerd, Minnesota. It was both the location of the first reported outbreak and is still the location of the largest case. A hundred and twenty-two people found themselves very suddenly semi-confined to the porcelain long-drop for months.

People who have Brainerd Diarrhea experience random, sudden bouts of “explosive diarrhea”, ten to twenty times a day. Symptoms also include cramping, gas, fatigue and vomiting – which can cause some problems as different body orifices compete for use of the toilet bowl… if you’re not sleeping at the time.

Brainerd is a bit of a mystery – the cause has never been confirmed without a doubt, and it doesn’t respond to any antibiotics. There have been various searches conducted to find the cause, but no bacterial, parasitic or viral pathogens have turned up as the culprit so far – but the CDC is still looking. Unfortunately, that also means that there is no way to accurately diagnose Brainerd.

The only solution, at the moment, is to wait it out. It’s a process which can take years – an argument for a comfortable, cushioned crapper if there ever was one.

3. Encephalitis Lethargica

Also known as “Sleepy Sickness”, this one is a sneaky bugger that will hit you before you have time to figure out what it is. It was first discovered in 1917 by Constantin von Economo and Jean-René Cruchet, and attacks the brain of its victims.

It starts out with flu-like symptoms – high fever, sore throat, headache, lethargy, etc. – before it knocks you out for a coma-like sleep as it feasts on your little grey cells.

The original epidemic spread out across the world, affecting nearly five million people – a third of which died. The survivors weren’t much luckier. According to the recordings of von Economo and Cruchet, many of the people were “as insubstantial as ghosts, and as passive as zombies.”. The disease would render them pretty much catatonic. Other recorded symptoms included Parkinson’s-like symptoms, twitchiness or psychosis – one woman went as far as trying to claw her own eyes out.

As of yet, there’s no cure for Encephalitis Lethargica. You’re going to end up one of two ways – Walking Dead, or the Exorcist.


4. Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome

CVS typically starts during the ages of 3 and 7, although it has been heard of remaining into adulthood. Cyclic Vomiting Syndrome is pretty much exactly what it sounds like – it causes a person to throw up from six to twelve times an hour. This can go on for months before a nice break that lasts anything from a few days to a few months, before it starts all over again.

Along with the discomfort of continual vomit, victims can also experience heightened sensitivity to light, smell, sound and pressure. Although most people are lucky enough to get a bit of a heads up to run for the bile bucket, some aren’t so fortunate.

No cause for CVS has been found yet, and there are no ways to effectively diagnose it either. For the most part, saline solutions are pumped into victims intravenously – this is to keep patients hydrated and their salt levels balanced. Other medications are showing promise, but nothing has been specifically identified as effective – especially since treatment is very dependent on the person being treated.

Look on the bright side – if you’ve got a chatterbox in the family, this’ll shut them up.

5. Exploding Head Syndrome

EHS has been classified as a sleep associated disorder, and is a kind of auditory hallucination that usually happens when a person is falling asleep or waking up. Usually it involves a person hearing loud imaginary noises; gunshots, explosions, general Christopher Nolan style movie effects – although they don’t last quite as long.

Studies haven’t been able to find a specific age or sex group that’s inclined to suffer from EHS, or conclusive correlate EHS to any other sleep related disorder. Cases go back all the way to 1876, although the name itself was coined by a psychiatrist in 1920 – his patients claimed that the noises made it sound as if their heads wanted to burst open.

People who suffer from EHS also report fear, confusion, sweating and flashes of light as syndromes, with attacks occurring two to four times – in general – before stopping. No need to stop the presses, though – claims of alien abductions being responsible is a complete fabrication.

6. Stiff Person Syndrome

SPS might appear mild to some of the lethal diseases on this list, but it is one of the most debilitating. The cause isn’t certain yet, although research seems to indicate that it has some kind of immunity anomaly to do with GAD antibodies – something related to diabetes.

It starts with spasms, before the abdomen and lumbar muscles starts contracting constantly. It continues to get worse, until the victim’s posture starts changing. Chronic pain and impaired mobility follow as the muscles become tighter and tighter. Although those muscle groups are mainly affected, some patients also experience tightening in facial muscles, hands and feet, and even their eyes.

In the end, patients become completely debilitated and dependent. It can also cause psychological conditions, including increased fear, anxiety, depression and agoraphobia – this makes some researchers believe that SPS can be psychosomatic. There is no sure way to diagnose SPS, and the most promising treatment research is the much debated stem cell research.

There are bad ways to go, but ending up a living statue with no cure anywhere close in sight isn’t something a sane person would wish on their worst enemy.



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