6 Creepy and Crazy Gaming Easter Eggs
1. 13 Years and The One Ring; Final Fantasy IX
So how do you find this Easter egg? Well, one of the side-quests that you get in the game involved talking to one of the Nero Brothers – apparently a sibling is missing. All too eager to help, you go out and beat the boss… but instead of going on with your life and your oodles of other quests, you’ve got to walk back and talk to them again. This time another sibling is missing. Back to the boss! Then back to the siblingss, back to the boss, back to- Well, you get the idea. After a ridiculous amount of rinse and repeat, all the siblings are finally safe and back home – and you can, finally, go inside and loot the house.
For all that effort, you’d expect something pretty fantastic, right? Maybe some kind of legendary weapon? If only. No, your reward for this extensive rescue mission is a ring. A tiny, insignificant little piffling Protect Ring. So is it worth it? Unless you’re determined as all bloody hell to complete every damn quest in the game, this trek through the annals of disappointment is one to skip.
2. Feel Honoured by My Name; Donkey Kong, Atari 400
Why did it take so long? Landon M. Dyer – the developer – buried the code to unlock the egg so deep that the only reason someone went looking for it was because Dyer mentioned its existence. So why didn’t he just tell someone how to get to it sooner? After all, why stick the code in there if you don’t want it to be discovered in the first place? As it turns out, even he forgot how to unlock it.
But the world is full of people who have too much time on their hands, and one of these people finally decided to just go through the code and figure it out. Step 1 – achieve a ridiculously specific high score. Step 2 – Lose all your lives but one. Step 3 – Commit suicide by fall with your last life. Step 4 – Reset the system to level 4 difficulty. Reward - Go to Main Screen and look at three tiny letters at the bottom.
Congratulations – most disappointing reward ever.
3. Is That…Luigi?; Luigi’s Mansion
And then there’s Luigi’s Mansion. The game has its flaws, sure, but there’s no denying that it’s another Mario franchise classic. Unlike most of the games, though, Luigi’s Mansion has a definite darker edge – and nowhere is that seen more clearly than a rather creepy Easter egg hidden in the loft. There are a lot of people who ascribe the chilling scene to a glitch, but Nintendo themselves have never confirmed or denied the true nature of that shadow.
When the power blacks out, go answer the ringing phone on the third floor - the one in the middle - and wait. Soon enough the lightning strike, and that strike will wreck your childhood as it casts a shadow on the wall. A shadow that eerily resembles Luigi, hung from the rafters.
Well, there goes whatever childhood innocence I had left.
4. I Am the Master Mind; Silent Hill 2
To unlock the ending, you need to play the game at least twice. Somewhere during your second run you might just manage to get your hands on a bone-shaped key. A weird thing to find, but alright. That bone-key opens a secret room, and inside you find the mastermind, the monster behind all the horror that you’ve been experiencing…
… a dog sitting in front of a control panel. Coincidence? Nope. The game itself quite bluntly says that the fluffy little bugger is responsible for all the trauma the protagonist has experienced. It also claims that everything now makes sense, so...
Naturally the protagonist falls to his knees at the revelation that a dog is responsible for his nightmare. Said dog trots right over to hand out sympathetic licks – which is completely unfair, by the way. How are we supposed to stay angry at an affectionate pup?!
5. Message from A Killer; California Speed
And yet…
While you’re driving in circles like a maniac, you might get random glimpses of sign boards all along the road. Most of them don’t mean much – they’re just there to add a little something to the game. With the… crap graphics of the time, there’s not much to expect from these signs. Not really. But if you look closely, you might spot one that’s not like the others. That particular sign has a rather disturbing message for our racers:
“Sometimes... God takes mommies and puppies away... And sometimes... Just sometimes... I do.”
Well, shit.
6. Singing in Obscurity; Portal 2
Portal 2 also comes filled with fun Easter eggs. For example – and beware spoilers here if you didn’t know this already – those adorable little turrets? They were made to protect baby cribs. That’s right – they’re tiny, red-eyed babysitters.
Now if you like exploring things thoroughly you might just discover four little turrets standing together. Not too unexpected… until the four of them break out into a melancholy little song. The song, as it turns out, is called "The Turret Wife Serenade". But who are they serenading? Why? How is it that these four lonely turrets (and the one fat turret opposite them) came to be here, singing all by their lonesome selves?Honestly, we don’t know – but that hasn’t stopped the fan community coming up with their own reasons and theories. A particularly heart-wrenching theory is presented by a fan called RedSquidz:
“They'd experienced a rather unusual suffering. Not a suffering from lasers. Not a suffering from being knocked over, or a suffering from being smashed away with weighted cubes. No, they suffered from something unconventional. They suffered from silence. From days, months, perhaps years of inactivity; water slowly eroding the testing chambers around them; iron rotting away from oxidation; power cells slowly corroding and depleting. There was nothing there to keep them stimulated - nothing to shoot at, nothing to trigger them into activation. And so, with their lights beginning to dim, they cried out. They sang, sang against the heavy quiet, sang out to find fulfillment and purpose and meaning, sang to fill the empty world around them - to keep their very souls alive and from slipping into the silence themselves.”
If that lonely Easter egg scene wasn’t sad before, you can bet your arse that it is now. You’re welcome.
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